Fall 2010 – Disappearing, Not Hiding

October 21, 2010 at 1:58 am (general)

Every few years, I sort of “drop out” of whatever scene I’m in. I suppose it’s kind of like moving, but without having to go somewhere. I’ve been in the Bay Area since Junior High, so it’s reasonable to assume I’d have to make quantum adjustments to my social life or I’d still be drinking fortified wine in back of the Safeway and watching my friends ride skateboards.

I traded school for punk rock in ’88, punk rock for a career in ’91, a career for entrepreneurship in ’96, entrepreneurship for piece of mind in ’03, and piece of mind for kink/porn in ’06. At each transition, I basically disappeared. Changed my email/phone and sort of walked away. So this is nothing new for me. I don’t regret any of my big life choices, and I’m not ashamed of any of them, but at various points in my life it just gets easier to slip out the back door than keep hanging out while I get sick of the party.

I’ve been kinky for as long as I can remember, and I only plan on getting more perverted with time, but I’m pretty much done with the “Kink Community” for the time being, if not forever. I realize that public dungeons and community groups are important for kinky people, just like all-ages rock clubs are important for artistic youth. That being said, at this point in my life, I have no desire to go to a “play party” or an all-ages punk show in some smelly club. Also, I’ve had a blast doing Rope::Burn, teaching classes, and performing, but the amount of work and/or gladhanding it takes to put on these events has become overwhelming.

So, you’ll probably continue to see less of me out and about. I don’t plan on doing any classes, public shows, or big parties anytime soon. That being said, I still would love to do private lessons or private shows, and I’m open to any and all suggestions of how to have fun being kinky without all the logistics and/or politics. And, if you are someone I know and you want to hang out, just drop me a line.


  1. hisloyalgirl said,

    Hey there Mike,
    Just wanted to wish you the best. This is Cindy, who came to your house with Robert for some rope lessons (maybe 8 months ago or so), as well as to some of your classes. I knew you back in the ska/punk days…then we met again in this era.
    I completely understand where you are coming from, as I also stepped back from the kink community in order for kink to be a bigger part in my relationship (which was my point of getting involved in the first place). Some don’t get it (i.e.I should have a whole kink family), and to others it makes perfect sense. Life has far more dimensions, and it gets tricky if you start feeling compartmentalized or stagnant. I think some time in my thirties, I decided I was more than a sub and more than my job title, and had to step away from some of the ties that limited me (pun intended). Having an older dom who’d already been through all of that helped to.
    Anyway, just wanted to send lots of well wishes. It’s good to wear as many different hats as possible in this lifetime, and even better when those hats help us find or lead us to our next great thing.
    Good luck on the next leg of your journey, and feel free to keep in touch if you wish. 🙂

  2. thedunter said,

    I like your style, picture and blog. I wish are path will cross one day to share are common passion.


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